Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
