i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
