FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
