I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
