So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
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