Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
