My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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