I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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