i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
