im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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