I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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