idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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