Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
