I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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