he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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