she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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