That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
