Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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