Sry I called you an 8
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
