Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
