So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You are the jesus of drinking
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
