Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
