Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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