Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
