It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
