there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
im six kinds of drunk right now
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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