singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
