K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
