i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
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