am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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