You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
