You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Randomize
