After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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