I'm really into asian looking animals
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
