Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!

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(606): View more from Kentucky

There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.

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(817): View more from Texas

The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.

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(917): View more from New York City

My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.

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(712): View more from Iowa

Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.

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(540): View more from Virginia

It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.

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(305): View more from Florida

Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.

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