So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
