its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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