Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
