The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
