the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
