that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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