Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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