doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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