you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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