Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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