I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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