That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
are you so shy because you have an std?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
