so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
