You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize