I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
