We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
